hallmark movie
woman: i have a high paying job in new york city that i love and christmas isn’t that important to me
her black friend: you need a MAN
woman’s dad: come to the small town,, we are suffering without a baker for our town festivale
woman: ok dad
man: i harvest maple syrup for a living and make 2 dollars a year
woman: :/
man: will you harvest maple syrup with me…
woman: i’ve decided i hate my job and i’m going to resign myself to making christmas tree ornaments in fuckberg for the rest of my life
This should have been prefaced with “we forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of christmas movies”
Petition for Netflix to do a reverse Hallmark movie. A housewife from a small town has to go on a trip to the Big City due to some inheritance issue(her husband of course doesn’t accompany her because he is a lazy ass). In the process she finds out that she fucking LOVES the big city. She loves the possibilities, the culture, the life,the night life,
She also just happens to find a job she loves, decides she doesn’t actually want children, that she hates going to church, that she never really liked either her or her husband’s families
And then her angry husband calls her:
husband: where the hell are you? You were supposed to be done with this b.s two weeks ago? I don’t have any clothes. Mom had to come here to do the laundry and she is so pissed at you. You better be here to prepare Christmas dinner!
woman: Actually dear I decided not to sell my great aunt’s flat. In fact I decided to move to the city. Also the reason I am calling was to tell you that I am filing for divorce
husband:you bitch. you will regret this. i will leave you penniless
women: actually dear in case you forgot dealing with the finances was something you considered beneath you so all the bank accounts are in my name. but don’t worry. i’ll leave you the house. maybe now you will actually bother to do the repairs I have been asking you to do for years. merry Christmas. All tell your mother to go fuck herself
That is a Christmas movie I would watch.
(via iamrunspired)
