I have a very melodramatic nerdy friend, M. He’s a good friend but he tends to see things where there is nothing to see.
Tonight he posted a reflection on the last decade of his life (tomorrow he turns 30) which was understandable and I read it out of respect. I do care about him and care that he’s happy etc.
However, for the billionth time he spoke about how he hopes some of his friends can “repair these breaches” or even “build a bridge to civility.” I am the only one of his close friends who doesn’t speak to some of his other friends. I cut ties with people who were toxic to me and I have no regrets.
He does. Unfortunately it’s not up to him to repair those friendships. In fact, with one in particular there is no reparation to be done.
I cut ties with my former college roommate/best friend in 2011 just after my 29th birthday. I was supposed to be her maid of honor and to put it simply she was treating me like shit. I had enough and told her as much.
M still thinks I will forgive her and repair things. He doesn’t get that there is nothing to forgive. She is who she is and I won’t be a part of that. In my eyes those 9 years of friendship were a lie and hold no meaning for me.
The only good thing I got out of those years were some other friendships… including M & Bestie. I’ve let go of the rest of it and moved on.
I understand that some people will always hold on to hope that things will get better. I believe in hope too. I just know that some things are not worth holding on to. I’ve told him to let go but he refuses to listen to me. I can’t force him to let go but it’s enough already. I’m done hearing it.
The next time he says something he’s getting a fucking earful. It has nothing to do with him and I’m sick of the guilt trip.